I’ve often said that I don’t like to use the phrase “IRL” to distinguish the walking world from this virtual one, because it implies that my online existence is not “real”, or that I don’t consider people I meet online as “real”, which is vaguely insulting. For some it’s true, though; their online persona and their persona out in the physical world are vastly different. But most of us are not playing a character, and having walked the same floors with quite a few of my fellow tumblrites, I can say that everyone I’ve met (so far) was, “IRL”, pretty much exactly as I’d expected they’d be based on their blog and interactions on Tumblr and elsewhere online.

Nonetheless, it remains true that Tumblr, while existing as a virtual world within the real world, is not the real world. I know this because I asked y’all to tell me what the world would be like if Tumblr were the real world. Having read all of those responses, it seems clear that there is, in fact, a valid distinction between the real world and the Tumblrverse, because in many ways the Tumblrverse sounds like something I’d very much enjoy. And not just because a handful of y’all think I’d be some sort of super-hero queen, as well as Seth’s mother.

Because if Tumblr were the real world …

… but wait? Tumblr is the real world! The internet is not an imaginary place! Friends made online and connections forged over the web are not false. They’re as real as any face-to-face, in-person, “IRL” interactions. If you fall in love from across a coffee shop or across the country, the emotion is just as real. Still, most people don’t consider Tumblr “the real world”, so I guess if it were, the primary difference would be that they would.
~ Chris O’Brien

Pictures would be food and no one would ever go hungry.
~ Anonymous

Roggy would have a harem.

Justin would have 72 daughters, a dozen sons, not know a single one of the mothers, and still claim not to have slept around much.
~ Justin

The world would be a better place.
~ Anonymous

Jen would be my adopted mother, and I would make her Mother’s Day cards with stick figure us’s on them.
~ Seth

I would succeed in making Roggy my husband.
~ Bella

We’d have entire states populated by fandoms, writers, and artists. Everyone would hook up with each other eventually.
~ Jared

We would all have higher levels of Vitamin D.
~ Mercy

The letter “E” wouldn’t be the most used letter in the alphabet.
~ Chris Evans

My parents would flip.
~ (asearchforsunshine)

A lot of fictional characters would have to pay child support.
~ Anonymous

A feature would be like hanging your work on Mom’s fridge.
~ Sarah

Gray faceless people would come up to you on the streets asking personal questions, or just letting you know you suck hairy balls.
~ Lucian

50% of the population wouldn’t have a face.
~ Chris Evans

It would be a felony offense to lie on “TMI” Tuesday. Simple refusal to answer a question would be a misdemeanor, with a fine of up to $500 per offense.

There would be a lot of tea parties.
~ (whisperingofdawn)

It would look a lot like Japan, only the entire country has been overrun by Whovians.
~ Anonymous

The U.S. House of Representatives would probably be dominated by people who’d run on a platform of “you’ll get to see more pics of me cosplaying.”
~ Chris O’Brien

It would be like a Roman orgy.
~ Josh, a.k.a. Pikey

It would be equipped with a psych ward.
~ (arkthelordofmarch)

We’d all be in a utopia where depression and being broken would be long forgotten because we’d have finally found a place to belong, where we aren’t judged and instead accepted and loved for all that we are.
~ Bella

More wars would be waged over conflicting OTPs than over resources, religion, or any other reason combined.
~ Anonymous

Roggy would be my slave.
~ Alison

Jen would be queen.
~ (cat-n-the-hat)

Joy would be Madame Butterfly and Queen Jen would knight Mike — Sir Mike Frawley.
~ Roggy

Luke and I would be getting drunk shouting insults at people most of the fucking day.
~ Josh, a.k.a. Pikey

I’d have a hard time telling the difference.
~ Carl

Every painting would move.
~ Chris Evans

“Meme appreciation” would be a required course in all high schools.

Every teacher would be as badass as Kate.
~ Estee

We wouldn’t have to say “fuck society” because our society would be perfect.
~ Bella

Jocks would get spammed and nerds would be regarded as “popular”.
~ (asearchforsunshine)

Every time someone ever approved of what I said, they’d stick a giant heart above my forehead, or steal my essence to add to their collection.
~ (johnnynemo)

People would be serenading their crushes/loved ones with poetic words. Then they’d be hooking up and having sex with one another.
~ (writeinspace)

A follow would be a smile from a stranger.
~ Sarah

I’d have 100 or so people following me wherever I went, but most of them would only pay attention to what I do between 10 p.m. and 4 a.m.
~ Chris O’Brien

I’d wish I was a vampire who never needed sleep because I’d rather spend my time hanging out with all the awesomeness.
~ Bella

Jen would be rich and famous, would live in JRR Manor, have a butler named Roggy, drive the Jenmobile, and have her own movie coming out called “The Dark Writer Rises” in which she crashes her car into a brick wall but makes a super comeback and defeats the army of the Anon Greylings with help from a mysterious hero named Silverling. Of course, she would answer all my calls on the first ring too.
~ Edward