Jayarrarr (via hotpervymess)
Holey Cheese. Jayarrarr is wise. And apparently, there are many jerky men on Tumblr!
Haha — I just want to state for the record that I don’t entirely remember saying this, but okay. It definitely sounds like something I would say. Seeing it on my dash again, was kinda shocked by the notes and, to be honest, not sure how I feel about that. Kinda sad that there are this many people who identify with it, maybe.
This month has been, and will continue to be, incredibly stressful for me. Part of this is due to circumstances beyond my control, but yet another part is due to my
difficulty inability to say no, especially when people are offering to pay me to do something.
The result? I find myself looking forward to what will quite possibly be the busiest and most stressful few weeks of my life up to this point (if you exclude the bar exam and all law school exams, because why would you include those anyway?).
By the end of this month, I’ll have been in a wedding, and been there however I can for my sister and the rest of the family as my 7-month-old niece has heart surgery (scheduled in two days). Those are the things I have no control over.
But then, while those things are going on, I’ll also have: written 28,000 total words for one gig; written 18,000-20,000 for another; edited, fact-checked, and evaluated some 800-1,000 articles for yet another project; and edited two manuscripts.
Oh, and let’s not forget the various things I do that doesn’t actually make me any money, things like posting here on Tumblr. Those things will likely diminish in frequency and scope — unless more days are added to the month of April.
Hence the petition. Now if only I could figure out to whom it should be addressed and delivered ….
In the time you were away, I drew
arrows like breath to lungs, 17 strokes
ran rivers through sordid caesurae,
and I was not alone.
Never said I needed you — I
thought you knew. Crossed lines
tend to fray each other, even
in the pulling towards.
Like tip-of-the-tongue words, frustration
snarled and fanged. Feral
complacency of happenstance
distorted fate, but I drew daring
like tongue to lips — 32 scars
shortcuts through fault lines —
and we were not apart.
How waves of kisses licking erode
staid shores, you knew. I loved you less
for what we were than
for what we could become; where
calm pressed patience
in the spaces between forage
Strength rests not in remembrance,
in refrains unburdened of meaning
through force of repetition. Why
look back on yesterdays static
and finite, with uncountable tomorrows
glistening yet to be?
You spoke in tongues
of regeneration; your light pointed
straight to places promising
more profound pulses. We transcend,
I reckon. In the time you were a
way, I realized — we have
all the time in the world.
Your guide lamps
through distortion; a beacon breathing
hope, regret expelled. Here
footways on pathfalls; somewhere —
by Jennifer R.R. Mueller
We molded resistance
into mutual fortifications, where
among bed sheets twisted
through fevered fornication we
became the rug-burned ends
of tension’s last resolve.
Our tongues lay trails
to treasure troves of toes
curled in feral footfalls, pleading
passion never spent
by mere momentary release.
Fingers print patient
paths that forage
and plunder, paying due attention
to the oft-ignored: the braille
of goosebumps; the choreography
of an arched back; the poetry
of a whimper.
© 2014 by Jennifer R.R. Mueller
But we’re not part of breathing,
I suppose — no need for fingers
tangled in tresses, for silences stilted
by gap-toothed gasps. No need
for mercy, after all. We know
the rhythms of wavelengths
beat by begging tongues, belabored
by the bitter branching between
because and resolve. The brow,
ever furrowed; the mind,
Toward neon-lit doorways, perhaps,
we tread, skulking
among the tremorous reaches
of dawn’s quick and early
grasp. Dark we find feeds
and fills imagination’s trenches —
we make our own way.
We cannot be lost,
where once we had each other.
© 2014 by Jennifer R.R. Mueller
In other news, I’d like to take a moment to thank the Tumblr staff for featuring me and my blog in today’s Tumblr Tuesday post honoring Poetry Month.
When I saw it, I was like:
In the fourth issue of A Literation. Click here for the post on this issue’s themes, and submit away! Submissions are still open for another week.
Confession: I don’t own an ereader — at least, not any device such as a Kindle that would be devoted exclusively (or near-exclusively) to downloading ebooks and reading them. It’s not because I can’t afford one, nor is it because I have some romanticized preference for bound paper. Rather, it’s because I’ve never found any need for one personally. Books have never done anything wrong by me.
I remember sitting on a plane nearly a decade ago next to a dude with a Walkman. His carry-on housed a massive collection of CDs in a zippered folder with sleeves, and every time he wanted to listen to a different album he had to take out the folder, find the CD, slip it out, remove the old CD from his Walkman, replace it with the new one, close the Walkman, press play, replace the old CD in its sleeve, zipper the folder, and put it back in his bag. During our brief flight I think he did this three or four times. I had an iPod, and I probably listened to pieces of 10 different albums without moving anything other than my thumb. At that moment, I was completely sold on the iPod — because before this technological development, I had been that dude. I remember spending hours before a trip just trying to figure out which CDs I would take, and whether the folder with 25 sleeves would be enough or whether I should take the larger one with 50.
I don’t have this issue with books. I don’t read 10 pages of a book and then think “gee, I’d really rather be reading this other book,” and then pick that up and read it instead. When it comes to books, I’m a serial monogamist. Because of this perhaps peculiar way of reading, I’ve never really harbored any desire to carry my whole library around with me. I seldom need to carry more than one book at a time — and I’ve never found a single book (other than perhaps Infinite Jest) too cumbersome to carry with me anywhere.
But this misses the point, doesn’t it? Indeed, anyone who attempts to engage in this whole raging debate between books and their digital counterparts ignores the massive privilege involved in making such a comparison at all. To compare books and ebooks implies you know enough about both to make a valid assessment of their relative pros and cons. And to make such an assessment means you have the wealth and means to afford ebooks and, perhaps more importantly (since many ebooks are quite inexpensive compared to their dead-tree editions), you have the wealth and means to buy and maintain a device on which to download, store, and read those ebooks.
Most people don’t. The reason ebooks are no threat to books is not because some people are scared of technology. It’s not because “epaper” is somehow inferior to real paper or because ereaders are easily damaged compared to books or any of that nonsense. Ebooks are no threat to books because most people can’t afford ereaders but can afford books.
I haven’t bought a physical CD in years because I have no need of them. But regardless of how you purchase your music, you still need some way to play it — so music differs from the book, in this sense. If you buy a book, you can read it without need of anything at all other than perhaps a set of reading glasses. Downloading an ebook — even if it’s a free download — means first investing in some sort of device. That’s an investment the vast majority of the world’s population cannot afford.
Most cities have free libraries where you can check out books and read them for free. Many places also have bookstores where you can buy used books for a fraction of their cover price. Through libraries and used bookstores, books reach the masses in a way ebooks never will. Beyond that, books can be traded freely by individuals, passed on to friends and neighbors in a way ebooks cannot.
Debate the relative merits of one form over the other if you want, but recognize that most people don’t actually have the luxury of choosing one over the other. For that, if for no other reason — books aren’t going anywhere anytime soon.
© 2014 by Jennifer R.R. Mueller